Anonymous said...
They should teach that being a mother is a blessing and that some people won't be able to procreate so if you are blessed with children, you should be grateful and not complain. I know a ton of women who would love to be in your shoes so next time you are listing off the "challenges" you face as a parent, you might want to count your blessings instead.
My first reaction to this comment was to hit delete. This is my blog and I have the freedom to say whatever I feel and think. The more I thought about the situation I realized Anonymous has the right to speak their mind. While the comment was uncalled for I do not know their situation and the struggles they may have gone through or are going through. After thinking hard and praying about this I have decided to respond the only way I know how, with honesty. I strive to be real in life and on this blog. I like to think "what you see is what you get," that is what I am trying to do here.
Dear Anonymous,
I am aware that children are a blessing, I have never claimed otherwise. No one ever told me I would be spending hours every week in the laundry room scrubbing out stains. I was not informed that waking up out of a dead sleep I would have SteveSongs running through my head instead of Green Day's latest hit. I wish someone had been more honest about the day to day happenings in the life of a mom. I wish someone would be that open with teenagers who are tempting fate. Had someone been this blunt with me I still would have had children, but I would have been a little more prepared.
I watched my parents lose four babies and have had dear friends suffer the same loss. I hurt with my friends who can not conceive. And I rejoice when after months of trying God blesses them with a miracle. Even those blessed with children are only human and do not have a smile all day. Parenthood is not all lollipops and roses.
Dealing with Postpartum Depression for the second time is no picnic. Every day I battle with myself over the thoughts and feelings I have. No one told me this was a possibility. I never imagined I would have to force myself to hold my baby. Having a third baby was not supposed to emotionally detach me from my other children. A new baby shouldn't pull me further away from my friends. I never dreamed having another child would bring loneliness.
There hasn't been a day in Mr. Darcy's life that I haven't shed tears at least once. Daily I struggle with my ability as a wife, mother and friend. The strain this mental illness is putting on my relationships with my husband, children, family and friends weighs on my heart every day. Every morning I force myself to get out of bed because my husband and children need me. Each moment of doubt, loneliness, anger, sadness and fear I push forward because one day I will be better. This is a war I will win.
My friend Ruth from church posted about a series that just finished on Sunday mornings.
Our church recently did a series on Habakkuk. We talked about how we all experience "dips" in our lives in one way or another, where we encounter something that either causes us to take pause or sometimes even causes us to complete stop in our tracks of life. Habakkuk shows us how that even in those dips, God is wanting us to press in closer to Him (not just turning to Him during the good times). It's in those moments where we can really learn to trust Him. Of course, there's not always an easy answer to our situations. There won't always seem to be a way out. Sometimes it's something we have to continue to live with. God knows that. He understands that we don't always understand, that we ask why, that we even get upset with Him at times. And that's okay. Our Father loves us deeply, and wants to help us grow, just like us parents want for our children.
The last week of the series, we showed a video of some other people at Paradox who have gone through various dips in life. The stories share their dip, some of their heartache, and where they are at now. Some are past those moments, and some are still in the thick of it, trying their best to cling to Christ.
Making the decision to be a part of this video was a big step for me. Through the whole series I felt God whisper to me, "I will use your hurt, pain and healing to help others." I felt this was the first part of God using me to help others. I'm still waiting to see how this will help others. It was not easy to be that vulnerable in front of the whole church. It isn't easy being this open and honest on this blog, but I think this is one more step. One more step to helping someone and one more step toward my healing.
Every day I am reminded of God's blessings. He gives me strength to keep fighting and not give in to the lies. Anonymous, you may have been trying to remind me that my children are to be cherished, but maybe next time you will take a step back and think from the another's point of view.
