What Should Really Be Taught...

in sex-ed.

How many people live in your house x 2 = loads of laundry per week.

Add 30 minutes at the beginning and end of a typical trip to the store. And take around 3 extra bags full of items you may or may not need.

A typical conversation with a friend will go something like this:
You: "Ted and I were going Johny stop hitting your sister to take a Susie spit that rock out now drive to the Susie give that toy back to the baby shore Johny where is your other shoe on Sunday. We were thinking of Susie stop screaming having a where did I put the baby's spoon picnic. Do you want to join us? Johny bring me your shoe so I can tie it."
Friend: "Yes we would love to join you."
You: "Join us for what?"

You will never miss a meal again. You will not eat at these meals, but you will never miss one.

Snack will become a four-letter word. Along with mom.

You will become an expert on product recalls instead of movie reviews.

Every children's morning show theme song will be memorized in place of the Top 20.

You will never again need to set an alarm clock.

Okay moms what else should they really teach?

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you make me look, and your awful folding chairs.

I hate I’m now a Soccer Mom, I hate it when people stare.


I hate your big dumb sliding doors and the way you drive so fine.

I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.


I hate the way you’re always roomy, I hate it when you fly.

I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.


I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you always haul.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.